18.

I have written and re-written this post over and over but only want to say a few brief things: I am so incredibly grateful to the wonderful birthday I had, to the people that I live with, to my loved ones who are spread out all over the world, who have made my birthday such a special day. The most frustration I felt today was that I couldn't fully express how appreciative I was of how special I was made to feel because the appreciation was unquantifiable. I am so happy that I got to see Ashley today and that she fought her way through the things that have been hitting her hard this year - especially this past week. I have also decided that this year I will not try to make a drastic change within myself, not 'start being' this person I want to be, but let go of that image in my head and instead free myself to experiences as they come, open my mind and heart, and love freely: that is the path I would like to set out on, hopefully the path I already am on. Lastly, I spent several hours in meditation and prayer, which is quite an unusual thing to do for me but for some reason felt moved by something in the universe, and found myself praying for my loved ones as well as myself. I'd like to just ask you for one thing, if you're reading this, if you'd pray for my dog, Ashley, who has battled more things than she should have had to this year and is still fighting, that she will find her remaining days to be peaceful and painless, and if you'd pray the same for Sandy, a villager here at Camphill who I have grown to care for very much, and is slowly getting ready to cross the barrier between the physical world and the spiritual one. 

Thank you.